Liar

Liar.
I am such a Liar.
When can I stop it ya?
hate it..

Time to be mature.
Hold on to the Word.
so I won't fall.
again and again.

Hikkkkssss..
Can't even forgive myself..!><

what drives my life?

What drives my life?
Acceptance.

What is your passion?
Acceptance.




God, oh well, now I can only deal with you.
I always think that I am obeying all these times.
because I shut my mouth up.
well, it seems I am still doing wrong things.
I just can't handle it anymore.
Everything messed up.
God, you really need to DEAL with me in this way?
It is so hurt, but its all my faults.
and I can't hold this anymore.
can cry anytime anywhere in 3 seconds.
so dramatic, so jaye...

Where is my joy and passion?
Is my joy and passion all come from acceptance?
That's why when it is broken, my joy and passion disappear?
Oh no.. that's bad..

naive orders.

oh my god..
What a day.
it is just so fast and so true.

The time I turned on my cell phone and keep receiving sms.
Judgment comes.
Pressure comes.
Argument comes.
Serious comes.

People keep asking me for explanations.
well, really?
for wht?
hello there, i want to say sorry for blablablaablahhblahhh..
I cannot think anything for me to say sorry.
maybe I should just turn off my phone.

YES! I am super offensive!
I am super STUCK!
then? broke all the friendships?
okay~~ I get it, Just break it~
if it will really break, that's means our relationship is not friendship,
friendship shouldnt be broken like THIS!

your attitude let me feel you are the senior,
let me feel you know everything,
and everything you said is right,
but is it really right?
Am I really need to do what you say?
You care in this way... Dun you think that is just not HELPING?



Lord, whatever they are going to say about me..
please calm down my heart..
I cant hold this anymore..
I cant..
I can only rely on you...
Please show me what should I do..
I know that you will take kero and joii away..
I know that will happenn..
I totally and truly and fully knows what is happening now..

wondering

wondering around in apple shop.

alone

with my red mango yogurt.

such a peaceful moment.

no argument,

no judgement,

no expectation,

no serious,

when is the last time i turned my cell off,

and cut off with outside world?

i love this moment.

love to try my best to keep this peace.

thanks Lord.^^

im still a human, not a monster.

Im still a human.
what do ppl expect from me?
im still a human.
i have my own feeling.
im a human that i dun want ppl treat me like monster.
im a human that i dun want a close friend cant even understand my feeling.
im a human that i dun want to have any expectation from ppl.
im only a human.



you need my support? you need my understanding?
why you will need a monster's support?
why you will seek a monster's understanding?
why you will treasure our friendship?
everything are just WHAT YOU SAID, but not FROM YOUR HEART.
selfish thinking EVER!
so a monster dun need support? i never want to be the monster!
so a monster dun need understanding?? you never try to understand!
so a monster dun treasure our friendship? because you said you scared of SATAN!
and SATAN makes you scare of me!
if you treasure our friendship, you WONT cover your eyes
and dun ever DARE to take pictures with me!
YOU WILL BEAT THE SATAN if you treasure our friendship.


i really really want to find you, joiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.
but i know, baby natey is coming out soon.
and i dun want to disturb that happy and excited atmosphere.
maybe im just never suitable to be in that atmosphere.
really really miss you.
u are always my best comforter.
thankyou joii..
thankyou for always accepting who i was and who i m.


Jesus, if you are really Jesus,
why you dun stop these people to hurt me.
i can only seek you right now.
no one else i can find,
no other place i can go.


i have nothing left.